Time…

I’d had quite a bit of time lately; time to think, time to act. With my laptop charger dying earlier in the month, I was pretty much cut off from things online for awhile. I kept writing during this time though, jotting thoughts and poems down in my notebook, some of which I may post here soon. I’ve also had a good bit of time to play with my PSP again. Crisis Core :Final Fantasy VII, and Monster Hunter 2, currently have me addicted to it once again. I’ve also managed to finish a few more books, while also accumulating even more to read.

I finished rereading The Elephant Vanishes and Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman, both a collection of short stories my favourite author, Haruki Murakami. I’m currently reading another collection of stories by him called After The Quake, as well as an anthology of true-life psychedelic drug experiences akin to something you might find in the experience vaults on Erowid, called Tripping by Charles Hayes. So far it has proven to be as true to the psychedelic experience as I’ve encountered myself, and it has provided so much variation in experiences. It really is amazing how much the substances can open you up to, and what kind of experiences you can have.

The experience of not having a functional computer was short lived however, as I finally managed to order a replacement and get back in touch with everything just this week. But having that absence of the electronic frontier from my everyday life put quite a lot of things into focus for me. Most of that focus was on my time…

Time goes by. The progression of events seemingly flowing one after another in the unavoidable direction in front of me. Even the smallest amount of time I’m acutely aware of, a second, slips from my grasp as thoughtfully unfulfilled as the minutes, hours, days, and weeks that came before it. Its not that its wasted, it just isn’t being used to its full potential. But just what am I doing? Where am I going? I don’t know… I do know where I want to go, and what I want to do…but is there any feasible way to get myself there? Is there any reality in those dreams I’ve created for myself? I’d like to think so, but ultimately I’m never sure. “Time will tell” as they say, I just need to make sure I’m listening.

~ by Silence on April 24, 2008.